The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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