Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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