I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
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we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Will exercising make me less horny?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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