I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
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Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
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Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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