Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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