Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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