i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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