M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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