careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize