I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize