Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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