you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
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Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
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So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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