And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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