Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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