she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize