even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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