Texts From Last Night

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  (434): View more from Virginia

  question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.

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  (434): question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically. http://tfl.nu/0m41
  Replies (44) Good night (952) Bad night (5543)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds

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  (973): And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds http://tfl.nu/07d1
  Replies (7) Good night (820) Bad night (4302) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl

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  (+44): it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl http://tfl.nu/hhri
  Replies (16) Good night (1093) Bad night (4197) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.

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  (860): So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this. http://tfl.nu/j4ab
  Replies (5) Good night (4596) Bad night (767) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant

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  (404): The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant http://tfl.nu/hmmb
  Replies (8) Good night (701) Bad night (3858) Order T-Shirt
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.

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  (309): don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia. http://tfl.nu/2ibq
  Replies (6) Good night (1798) Bad night (837) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.

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  (612): I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look. http://tfl.nu/oye1
  Replies (9) Good night (2923) Bad night (689) Order T-Shirt
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  (530): View more from California

  He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"

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  (530): He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?" http://tfl.nu/zkkw
  Replies (6) Good night (1652) Bad night (2431) Order T-Shirt
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  (559): View more from California

  Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.

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  (559): Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on. http://tfl.nu/nei9
  Replies (7) Good night (902) Bad night (1440) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?

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  (949): Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween? http://tfl.nu/23ri
  Replies (8) Good night (2917) Bad night (478) Order T-Shirt
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  (646): View more from New York

  last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good

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  (646): last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good http://tfl.nu/h7gj
  Replies (16) Good night (1821) Bad night (795) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat

  (614): View more from Ohio

  repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES

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  (614): my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat (614): repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES http://tfl.nu/9vr3
  Replies (6) Good night (1756) Bad night (549)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..

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  (217): The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car.. http://tfl.nu/pl9j
  Replies (7) Good night (543) Bad night (949) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  Topless dodge ball cldnt top that

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  (619): Topless dodge ball cldnt top that http://tfl.nu/nbsl
  Replies (6) Good night (756) Bad night (225) Order T-Shirt
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  (530): View more from California

  Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me

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  (530): Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me http://tfl.nu/x3r5
  Replies (0) Good night (991) Bad night (198) Order T-Shirt

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