dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize