dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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