I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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