I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize