Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
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Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
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no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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