At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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