Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This baby is an asshole
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
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