I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Randomize