I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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