i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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