I just made out with a guy for $7.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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