It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're like the curious george of whores
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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