i just sent this text using only my big toe
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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