So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I bet he comes in French.
where am i from again
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize