I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
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i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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