I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize