Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
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when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
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I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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