Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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