we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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