Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
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