I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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