Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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