I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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