You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize