my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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