You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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