this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize