My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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