turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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