just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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