I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
We have so much sex to catch up on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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