I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
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