i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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