i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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