he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I currently don't understand fingers.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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